Friday, March 26, 2010

This deserves your attention


Jessica Simpson Preps Bluegrass Debut

Posted by C.M. Wilcox on 3/25/10 • Categorized as Fake News

Jessica Simpson, who has focused on non-musical pursuits since parting ways with Sony Nashville last year, plans to release her first bluegrass album on Rounder Records in late 2010.

“Over the years – whether I was watching my pop singles flounder, watching my country singles flop, or joking nervously about my bosom so as to distract from my utter absence of personality – I always felt like bluegrass was my home. I’m a Texas girl, you know, and Texas isn’t that far from Arkansas, the bluegrass state. So it comes pretty natural.”

Although she’s working on her high loathsome tenor, Simpson cautions that fans shouldn’t expect her Rounder debut to be bluegrass in the strictest sense. “We’re not talking Jimmy Monroe and Bill Martin here, but more like the Notorious Steeldusters meets, uh, Jessica Simpson. Sort of a newgrassy type thing, with drum loops over the, uh… banjo is the plucky circle one, right? People will really like it if they give it a chance.”
Concept by Farce the Music. Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.
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